House of Pain

Warm up: 400m run, various calisthenics, dumbbell snatches, practice hanging squat cleans with PVC
WOD: 5 rounds for time of 15 hanging squat cleans, 30 push ups

Did I mention that I'm a big, whiny baby? Did I also mention how badly my knees and shoulders have been hurting lately? I was in the house of pain today like I've never been before, and I promise I'm not telling you about it to complain. It just is what it is.

I've been really sucking it up lately with knee pain, and mentally I've really been fighting to complete the last two WODs. Tomorrow's WOD will likely be one of the hardest I've ever done, and then on Wednesday I "get to" run a 5K and then come back to the box for a few more exercises. We're supposed to be having a "Fran Friday" this week, and I'm planning on attending, but even as I sit here typing this, I can feel the swelling starting in my knees. It is just not looking good.

My coach started me off with 65# for the hanging squat cleans. This weight should not have been a problem for me -- I've worked with this much weight many times before. I simply could not get it up high enough to get underneath it, and even when I did attempt to get underneath it, I just couldn't get there fast enough. I tried and failed five or six times, then she moved me down to 55#, which is how I completed the WOD.

I was so frustrated. I really had to fight even to complete this with 55#. At one point I was so fired up and frustrated that I was willing myself not to cry. (Think Tom Hanks yelling, "There's no crying! There's no crying in baseball!") There is no crying in CrossFit, so get your butt moving, woman.

With each time I went down, my left knee felt like it had a needle hanging out of it that dug in a little deeper with each movement. Once I had stood the weight up and was dropping it down to get another rep, the movement of bringing the bar down made my shoulders feel like they were being ripped off, or at least stretched in opposite directions by some sadistic machine you think of in castle basements.

Most days, when I'm feeling stiff and in a little pain, it wears off after the first two rounds and I find my rhythm and can stick with it. I did finally find a rhythm, but each beat was marked with the staccato of shooting pain in my knees and shoulders. It just never gave way. This was the second WOD that I felt sure, during the first round, I would not be finishing.

The push ups were easy, and I tried to crank those out and make up time there. I wanted to finish under 30:00 again today, but honestly, I was surprised that I actually made it through this one. There was no wave of proud relief. Only frustration at what had happened with my body and how far I had allowed my mind to go in attempting to derail my workout. I've been beating myself up about it all day, and I just don't know what to do with it.

I can tell you this much -- if it hadn't been for my coach, today would've been short and painless for me. I would've packed up and walked out the door. She really put up with a butt load of my bellyaching and kept me moving, kept me up to get one more rep. Watching the other girls made me wonder how they were doing this without near as much anguish as me, but I was the second one to finish out of four, so I guess my results weren't that bad.

This week is going to be one of the toughest ever for me in CF. I've really got to take care of those knees and tell my inner demon to kiss off. I've got Fran at the end of the week, and I've got to git 'er dun.

Posted time: 28:40 with 55#